By Lance M Hillier Sr
Political Quotes - Various ones I've collected over the years; attribution sometimes given, others were caught while listening to radio or reading over someone's shoulder or in waiting rooms...
"Outside of the killings in Washington DC, we have one of the lowest crime rates in the nation." -- Marion Berry
"I resent your insinuendoes."
"If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain the same."
"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate." -- Dan Quayle
"If Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave."
"We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report."
"Candidly, I cannot answer that. The question is too suppository."
"Let's jump off that bridge when we come to it."
"To be demeanered like that is an exercise in fertility."
"I deny the allegations, and I defy the allegators."
"If somebody's gonna stab me in the back, I want to be there."
"When you're talking to me, keep your mouth shut."
"Let's do this in one foul swoop."
"I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves in this session."
"We'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger."
"I would like to take this time to reirritate my remarks."
"The average age of a 7 year old in this state is 13."
"I hate to confuse myself with the facts."
"We have a permanent plan for the time being."
"Family planning has many misconceptions."
"The people in my district do not want this highway bypass, no matter if it goes through or around the city."
"My knowledge is no match for his ignorance."
"As long as I am in the Senate, there will not be a nuclear suppository in our state."
"These numbers are not my own; they are from someone who knows what he's talking about."
"People planning on getting into serious accidents should have their seat belts on."
"In 1994, Americans stand on the horns of an enema."
**************************And for those waiting with bated breath, the best political humorist of all time in my opinion: Will Rogers:
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing -- and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
A fool and his money are soon elected.
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.
Our Constitution protects aliens, drunks, and U.S. Senators.
"If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"~~Will Rogers
Political Quotes - Various ones I've collected over the years; attribution sometimes given, others were caught while listening to radio or reading over someone's shoulder or in waiting rooms...
"Outside of the killings in Washington DC, we have one of the lowest crime rates in the nation." -- Marion Berry
"I resent your insinuendoes."
"If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain the same."
"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate." -- Dan Quayle
"If Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave."
"We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report."
"Candidly, I cannot answer that. The question is too suppository."
"Let's jump off that bridge when we come to it."
"To be demeanered like that is an exercise in fertility."
"I deny the allegations, and I defy the allegators."
"If somebody's gonna stab me in the back, I want to be there."
"When you're talking to me, keep your mouth shut."
"Let's do this in one foul swoop."
"I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves in this session."
"We'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger."
"I would like to take this time to reirritate my remarks."
"The average age of a 7 year old in this state is 13."
"I hate to confuse myself with the facts."
"We have a permanent plan for the time being."
"Family planning has many misconceptions."
"The people in my district do not want this highway bypass, no matter if it goes through or around the city."
"My knowledge is no match for his ignorance."
"As long as I am in the Senate, there will not be a nuclear suppository in our state."
"These numbers are not my own; they are from someone who knows what he's talking about."
"People planning on getting into serious accidents should have their seat belts on."
"In 1994, Americans stand on the horns of an enema."
**************************And for those waiting with bated breath, the best political humorist of all time in my opinion: Will Rogers:
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing -- and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
A fool and his money are soon elected.
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.
Our Constitution protects aliens, drunks, and U.S. Senators.
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